Splinter of the Mind’s Eye – Part 13
New to Blue Milk Special? Start reading from the beginning!
You think we hate Leia? WRONG! We love Leia, but apparently Alan Dean Foster DID NOT! Actual transcript from the book:
Leia has just told Grammel that he strikes her as having a limited capacity for learning…
He drew back his left foot and kicked her in the left thigh with the point of his boot. Moaning in pain, the Princess grabbed her side below the hip and sank forward to her knees. Her right hand stopped her fall while the other continued holding the bruised place. Luke raged inside but resolutely stared straight ahead. This was not the place or time to die.
“However, I am straightforward,” Grammel continued, gazing down at her. Using his leg again, he kicked her right arm out from under her. She fell forward, then rolled over and sat up, still holding her left leg. The Captain-Supervisor kicked out sharply, catching the base of the spine but not hard enough to paralyze her. She wailed as both hands went to the small of her back and she fell over on her side, where she lay moaning.
Grammel drew back his leg again. Unable to stand any longer, Luke stepped between them, said rapidly, “If I told you the truth, Captain-Supervisor, you wouldn’t believe me.” – Pages 95-96 of Splinter of the Mind’s Eye by Alan Dean “Leia hater” Foster
So, as you can see, Grammel doesn’t just stop at kicking Leia to the ground. Okay, so the book didn’t specify it wasn’t a flying kick, but somehow we didn’t feel it would be any less appropriate. This is supposed to be Star Wars, right? Nothing wrong with a bit of violence if handled well, but how many times has Leia been beaten so far in the story and she hasn’t even fought Vader yet!
Another comment we have to make is what a weird and un-chivalrous Luke we get in this book. First he bitch slaps Leia in a cantina for lack of a better idea at how to blend in, then he pulls her into a mud play fight in which the two of them get accosted by genuine thugs. The worst part is that Luke decides he can avoid reacting to Leia being kicked nearly four times, including an almost paralyzing kick to her spine because “This was not the place or time to die.” If SOTME was continuity then it would be no surprise why Leia ended up getting with Han.
Jesus! Does BMS have any psychoanylist fans Rod? I’d be fascinated to hear what they thinnk of this.
Lord. Maybe Foster should have called this “Sphincter of the Mind’s Eye”….what an ASS!! Messin’ with Leia like that. Boo.
The men in the white coats are outside his house right now.
“Alan Dean “Leia hater” Foster” This about sums it up. As a side note it seems to me that every guy that has facial hair can pull off some crazy moves…… I bet if you cut off Grammel’s mustache he would lose all his powers!
Like Samson?
“And thus, Gammel was both the prosecutor, judge and executioner of a thousand rebels with only the jaw-bone of a bantha” 😀
I’m sorry, I can’t comment on the comic as my eyes are bleeding from reading that horrible excuse for writing. You people have read an entire book of this? O.o
John, I have an MA in Psychology, but it’s really unnecessary to analyse that. The author doesn’t understand how to create conflict, so he thinks beating up on the girl will do. It’s like every bad fanfic ever, except those are usually written by 12 year old girls. See also: Twilight. …Or ADF had some bad experiences with women. :p
Fantastic – we have someone who can evaluate everyone on this forum!
Thanks for the illumination Fan Girl (Are you doing research here for your Doctorate? Go on, are you?)
How dose that make you feel John ?
Not sure. The best she could say is that I’m enjoying a mid-life crisis.
Boy that fat guy got JUMP!!!!
Love the Role Playing plug.
Jeepers, yeah there’s no balance of pain in this. But more importantly, the book seems like a bit of a dull read. I mean, c’mon, that whole section quoted seemed more like an instruction book for doing a dance, rather than illustrating a violent act towards someone. Based on that, it’s a good thing I read the wiki synopsis, rather than go through that seemingly slow-paced sadistic (towards Leia and Vader’s arm) mess.
I so wish I had taken your route. I borrowed the book from the library and had to struggle through it. Worst read ever.
I hate being diminishing about other people’s work, so I should perhaps point out that Alan Dean “Leia Hater” Foster did give us a nice atmospheric setting, a memorable confrontation with Vader (artistically at least) which was good enough to borrow and use as the “Cave scene” in TESB, and actually let Leia swing a light saber. Not much as far as defense of his work goes, but again, it’s tough being critical of other people’s work because… well… they might read this and hate us.
I can see where you are coming from but at some point we have to take a step back and go WTF! Don’t ever do something like this again…… Its like zombie Stormtroopers it never needed to be done let alone have another carp book about it.
I wanted to read “Death Troopers” to see how bad it was, and because the hard back came with a cool poster. Normally everything is better with zombies, but…
So how bad was it (anyone)?
Trent, it happened in the Clone Wars cartoon…. I’ll go die now.
It was really bad Gatto. So bad that I keep it away from all my other Star Wars books in a box in the corner of my room so that I don’t have to see it.
It happened in Clone Wars??? I don’t watch the kids show but my God I thought it would be better than that.
I agree completely. Which is all the more reason why I don’t just say “The work sucks”. The least I can do is say WHY it sucks. Just from what I read, it seems like a dully narrated, if not at least semi-interesting story.
I’ve always said Luke was a useless pantywaist. BMS never fails to reinforce that for me. Great strip.
Perhaps he was waiting for the ghost of Obi-Wan to tell him what to do?
Luke doesn’t grow a pair until Dad shows up and chops his hand off.
Obviously, the bigger a weenie you are means the harsher a smackdown you need to grow the hell up. (This makes G.I. Joe’s Lt. Falcon the biggest fictional weenie *EVER*, BTW.)
Run Luke run !
Aaaaand Darth Vader is STILL Ahead in the polls. (if you don’t mind me straying of subject). I looked up the book Splinter of the Mind’s Eye btw and really thought it sucked, not the overall plot-line but simply in the style it was written, makes Luke and Leia seem, weak almost if you don’t mind me using the term. But I really like your strips way of putting the book! I don’t really think you are putting down the writer at all but i agree with Trent and there needs to be a time when we DO step back and say WT—
“This was not the place or time to die” unless you’re “The Doctor” I dont think any were is the place (or time) to die.
* I dont think it’s ever the time or place to die.
Unless you are an Ewok, or Jar Jar, then I’d recommend any time.
I second and third that! I’ll even fire up the grill for a serious EWOK cookout! I’ll cut jar-jar up for bait for folks to fish with.
Actuality Ewok dose sound good. Think of the ribs on those things !
Wow. Won’t Grammel feel like a fool when he remembers the “Amber Diceless Role-Playing System” exists.
He’s pretty spry for a fat Imperial officer.
Oh wow… I’d never read SOTME… it kinda seems like he’s just writing a past-tense screenplay. Point of left boot to left thigh? Maybe it’s just personal preference, but that seems way too specific for anything but stage direction.